{"id":5470,"date":"2024-05-29T16:29:33","date_gmt":"2024-05-29T14:29:33","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.jewishlife.co.za\/new\/?p=5470"},"modified":"2024-05-29T16:29:33","modified_gmt":"2024-05-29T14:29:33","slug":"is-trust-enough","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.jewishlife.co.za\/new\/2024\/05\/29\/is-trust-enough\/","title":{"rendered":"Is Trust Enough?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

 Money Feature<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

How to be religious with your money<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

By: Paula Levin<\/h6>\n\n\n\n
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\u201cSuccessful people set the norms that most people cannot afford yet try to emulate.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

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Our communities are in financial crisis. The cost of living for the average Jewish family seems to require far more money than we earn, as school fees, medical aids, kosher food, and the need to fund private utilities like water and electricity take big bites out of our income! Some families are reliant on welfare or subsidies, many have ballooning debt, and most are unable to save for future expenses like weddings and old age. It\u2019s easy to say \u201chave faith and everything will be ok\u201d \u2013 but is this an authentic Jewish approach or a way to evade the hard work of being responsible with our money? Rabbi Levi Avtzon shared recently (in a different context) that simplistic ideas are like unripe fruit, not only are they not nutritious \u2013 they give you a stomach ache. Even the truth that \u201cG-d will provide\u201d, when not fully understood, can actually create damage and dysfunction. So let\u2019s dig deeper into how spirituality and money intersect.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There\u2019s a Jewish joke about a conversation between a man and his future son-in-law. \u201cHow are you going to provide for yourself and my daughter?\u201d The young man replies: \u201cG-d will provide.\u201d The man continues by asking, \u201cHow will you support your children?\u201d The young man replies with great conviction: \u201cG-d will provide.\u201d The man, a bit concerned, asked another question, \u201cDo you have any savings? What is your plan in life?\u201d The young man looks the father straight in the eyes and says: \u201cGod will provide\u201d Later on, the bride-to-be\u2019s mother asks her husband, \u201cSo how did it go?\u201d The father answers, \u201cThe bad news is that he has no money, and no plans, but the good news is he thinks I\u2019m G-d!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIn Israel, the saying \u201cHakol yihye b\u2019seder\u201d \u2013 everything will be ok, is synonymous with \u2018I can\u2019t be bothered\u2019. What sounds like an expression of deep trust is actually the avoidance of effort,\u201d says Rabbi Moishe Kohn, coach, trainer, and supervisor for international financial literacy organisation Mesila. Mesila has helped almost 10 000 families get a handle on their finances and build a long-term plan to maintain financial stability. The organisation promotes correct financial attitudes and habits through education programmes in schools and through workshops and seminars in the community because as they say \u201can ounce of prevention is better than a pound of cure\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rabbi Kohn visited South Africa earlier this year at the invitation of Ohr Somayach\u2019s Rabbi Daniel Beider. As a community rabbi, former banker, and fund manager, having lived in the UK, Israel, and Joburg, Rabbi Beider has observed that many families spend more than 100% of what they earn each month, getting deeper into debt and living in not-so-blissful ignorance of the looming consequences. Seeing the need for financial coaching and an authentic Torah-based approach to money management, Rabbi Beider is working to drive awareness of Mesila\u2019s services and the importance of being responsible with our money. \u201cI\u2019ve been puzzled for many years by people\u2019s spending habits and identified a knowledge gap that I believe Mesila can help bridge. Successful people set the norms that most people cannot afford yet try to emulate. We may need to rethink our standard of living \u2013 such as frequent holidays, big homes, and entertaining. We definitely need to stop comparing ourselves to others. I\u2019ve found Mesila\u2019s approach to be very empowering, focused on what we can do to live within our means while still aspiring to our goals. They teach how painless or even painful cuts in spending can allow for better decision making, and how to generate more money to achieve financial goals.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A financial advisor I interviewed years ago says that people become more \u2018religious\u2019 as the month wears on \u2013 and as they find \u2018more month than money\u2019 they turn to anxiety-fuelled prayers to \u2018magically\u2019 fix their problems. Prayer of course is fundamental to Judaism, but as Rebbetzin Yemima Mizrachi puts it, G-d is not an ATM machine. Prayer is the building of a deep and authentic relationship with Hashem, it should energise and nurture us. Whether or not our prayers are answered in a revealed way, they should bring us closer to G-d, giving us the strength to get through another day. Like a loving father faced with a child in a tantrum because he wants to put his fingers in the electrical socket, G-d will never give us something that harms our development, no matter how much we beg. Our task, then, is to become more self aware about what physical and spiritual effort we need to put into achieving a financially healthy position.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u201cFaith is knowing that the outcome is G-d\u2019s will, perhaps for a reason we cannot understand and for our higher good.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Faith means putting in effort and energy into life and working to partner with G-d in bringing Him into every aspect of our lives \u2013 this is called hishtadlus. Optimistically trusting that the outcome will be good is called bitachon. The outcome is not limited to our effort and it may not even necessarily be connected to our effort because G-d is unlimited, loves us unconditionally, and wants to give us abundance. But our effort needs to allow G-d to provide for us in a non-miraculous way. Faith is knowing that the outcome is G-d\u2019s will, perhaps for a reason we cannot understand and for our higher good. Ignoring our part of this equation but having faith that G-d will do the heavy lifting is not bitachon. \u201cSometimes people say \u2018Hashem ya\u2019azor\u2019 \u2013 G-d will help \u2013 instead of also taking action,\u201d says Rabbi Beider. \u201cHishtadlus is like pressing a button to access what G-d wants to provide \u2013 we have to push the button,\u201d he says. \u201cThis includes planning for the future. Our children\u2019s weddings or Pesach every year cannot be called unforeseen expenses. We need to think ahead.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To have an honest relationship with G-d and trust in a positive, abundant outcome, we must do everything in our power to create the spiritual and physical vessels to contain the financial security that can be ours. The many spiritual vessels available to us such as giving tzedaka and practicing gratitude are beyond the scope of this article, but they don\u2019t preclude the physical vessels we must create. \u201cThese involve doing work that can provide an income \u2018b\u2019derech hateva\u2019 \u2013 the natural way \u2013 without requiring a supernatural miracle, and then managing that income responsibly,\u201d explains Rabbi Beider.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u201cSay \u2018yes\u2019 to the future vision, rather than saying \u2018no\u2019 to the present temptation.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Every month, we are given a certain amount for our needs but how responsibly \u2013 and consciously \u2013 do we spend this money? \u201cThe first step to financial health is awareness,\u201d says Rabbi Kohn. \u201cIn our coaching process we ask people to track and categorise every cent they\u2019ve spent in the previous three months. So often people say, \u201cI don\u2019t even know where the money goes.\u201d Only with awareness can we take back control. This step should give you a high-resolution picture of what your income and expenses are. Next, we talk about where you want to get to. Your vision. Perhaps you want to live with less stress, take a family holiday, save for a wedding, or retirement. Every person has a different vision and couples need to talk about what their shared vision is. Again, we need a high-resolution picture in vivid detail \u2013 we need to really imagine what it would feel like to achieve these goals. Then we look at what changes need to be made to get from your current reality to your goal. Making changes will involve some hard choices, but we want to frame these as saying \u2018yes\u2019 to the future vision, rather than saying \u2018no\u2019 to the present temptation.\u201d Then we learn about how to maintain this change \u2013 like revisiting the budget once every month.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mesila has a school curriculum designed to teach children basic financial literacy, but parents should also be paying attention to what messages they are teaching their children about money. These messages and experiences form deep-seated emotions that drive future behaviour. \u201cWe advise parents not to tell children they can\u2019t afford something, and rather say a more neutral statement like \u2018it\u2019s not in the budget\u2019,\u201d says Rabbi Kohn. Rabbi Beider suggests we help our children make good spending decisions when they are old enough, for instance when buying stationary for the new school year. \u201cGive them a budget and help them walk around the store and see how much things cost. Help them see that if they choose everything from a high-end store, they won\u2019t be able to get everything on the list, but if they are smart about what they choose, they will be able to get one \u2018luxury\u2019 item. Personally, I would add a bit extra to the budget so that they can get one really nice thing. It should be a positive experience.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rabbi Kohn says that sometimes people need to go a little deeper into the \u201cmoney scripts\u201d they have embedded in their thinking, become aware of them, and change them for a healthier attitude. Awareness is the key to healthier spending habits. A major contributor to financial stress which has a knock-on effect on shalom bayis \u2013 peace in the home \u2013 is our desire to have what wealthier people have and spend as if we actually do! Nowhere is this more apparent than in how we celebrate simchas like weddings and bar mitzvas. On the occasion of his 70th birthday, Rabbi Levy Wineberg shared a powerful anecdote that happened to his father. The senior Rabbi Wineberg used to broadcast a Torah class over the radio every motzei Shabbat. With his son Levy\u2019s bar mitzvah scheduled for a motzei Shabbat, he asked the Lubavitcher Rebbe if he could do the broadcast remotely and tell the audience he was broadcasting from the bar mitzvah hall. The Rebbe told him not to use the word \u201chall\u201d, as this would conjure up a lavish image in the eyes of the listeners, putting them under financial pressure to also have an expensive function. \u201cThe Torah has regard for the money of the Jewish People,\u201d he explained, and taught a valuable lesson about the power of our words and actions to influence others, as well as the importance of sensitivity to the financial situation of members of our community. Rabbi Beider explains that this same principle drove Rabbonim from a previous era to go the extra mile even merely to declare a chicken kosher \u2013 so as not to cause a significant financial loss to the family who had already bought it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ultimately, though we do indeed face financial constraints and a changing lifestyle in South Africa, we cannot allow these realities to determine our happiness or blind us to the abundance we still enjoy \u2013 living today like the kings of old. As Mesila Chairman Shmuli Margulies puts it, it\u2019s how you manage your money that defines your quality of life, rather than the cost of living. \u201cWe all want a worry-free life,\u201d says Rabbi Beider. \u201cFor 40 years in the desert Hashem showed us He takes care of us, so we don\u2019t need to worry \u2013 but we do need to be responsible.\u201d He concluded with the story of a Satmer Chassid who asked his Rebbe about the importance of reciting Parshat Hamon (the Torah portion describing the Manna that fell in the desert) as a segula for parnassa. The Rebbe replied that a good segula was being at work by 9:30 in the morning! Indeed, navigating the delicate dance between the spiritual and the physical is the work of our lifetime. May we develop the wisdom, strength, and self-awareness to partner with G-d in bringing financial abundance into our lives and use these blessings to make this world a kinder, better, more G-dly place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Resources<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mesila.com<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

 Money Feature How to be religious with your money By: Paula Levin \u201cSuccessful people set the norms that most people cannot afford yet try to emulate.\u201d Our communities are in financial crisis. The cost of living for the average Jewish family seems to require far more money than we earn, as school fees, medical aids, kosher food, and the need to fund private utilities like water and electricity take big bites out of our income! Some families are reliant on welfare or subsidies, many have ballooning debt, and most are…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":5471,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[97],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5470","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-shavuot-2024"],"gutentor_comment":0,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishlife.co.za\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5470","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishlife.co.za\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishlife.co.za\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishlife.co.za\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/6"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishlife.co.za\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5470"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishlife.co.za\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5470\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5472,"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishlife.co.za\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5470\/revisions\/5472"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishlife.co.za\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/5471"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishlife.co.za\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5470"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishlife.co.za\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5470"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jewishlife.co.za\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5470"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}